Weight Loss Motivations: What Doesn’t Work?
Last week, I wrote about some of the best motivations for ensuring that you stick to your diet during those tough times – when the scales haven’t budged for a couple of weeks, when the cookie jar is calling your name, and when that old pair of jeans still seem months away from fitting.
I mentioned, though, that there are some negative reasons for taking up a diet (let’s call them “anti-motivations”) that might work in the short-term, but which won’t boost your willpower over the months that are needed for successful, sustainable, weight-loss.
Here are three reasons why some people start on diets – and these might lie behind all the failed New Years’ resolutions, abandoned diet plans and disappointment. I’ll explain why each reason is not a good way to try to motivate yourself.
Don’t Be Pressured To Diet By A Partner/Parent
Perhaps you’re twenty pounds overweight, but you’ve always been happy with how you are. You’re a big gal/guy and you’re perfectly okay with that. You eat healthy, hearty portions, and you take regular exercise.
So why are you on a diet? For some people, the pressure comes from outside. Perhaps your partner has been pressuring you to lose weight – whether for your health, or because s/he thinks you’ve become less attractive. Maybe you’re a teenager and your mum has been nagging you about your weight, or trying to put you on a diet.
Even if your weight really is putting your health in danger, feeling pushed into dieting by a partner or parent is almost a guarantee that you’ll end up feeling deprived, fed up and miserable. Successful dieters choose to lose weight for themselves – not for anyone else.
If this sounds like you…
Think about why you’re on a diet. Is it because you want to lose weight – or because someone else wants you to? There’s nothing wrong with telling them to mind their own business: you might be a little overweight, but it’s your concern, not theirs.
Don’t Just Focus On Being Thin
Some people – women especially – will focus all their dieting and exercise efforts on “being thin”. The pursuit of thinness can start to take over from other concerns – including health ones.
This is dangerous on a couple of grounds. Firstly, if you’re just dieting to be thin, you’ll often end up discouraged when you don’t end up looking like a supermodel – even if your natural body shape is, like mine, rather more like an apple than an hourglass! You might end up ditching your diet and going back to your old, unhealthy, eating habits if you get disappointed because you can’t reach an unrealistic ideal.
Insisting on being thin at all costs is also unhealthy – it’s actually better to be overweight and fit than underweight. Wanting to be thin might encourage you towards crash dieting attempts, skipping meals, or even lead to anorexia. On a less dramatic but still significant level, it might stop you from eating healthy higher-calorie foods.
If this sounds like you…
Remind yourself that everyone looks different – and there’s no one perfect body shape or size. Think about how eating and exercising in order to make your body fitter, stronger and more energetic: refocus your dieting on health, not on being thin/light.
Don’t Tell Yourself You “Should” Lose Weight
One of my friends, Tim Brownson, is a life coach, and he regularly talks and writes about the negative effects on our motivation which result from using words like “should” and “need”. Have you ever found yourself saying:
- I really should lose some weight
- I need to go on a diet
- I shouldn’t eat that
- I must get my five-a-day
- I mustn’t have any chocolate
How does saying things like that make you feel? If you’re anything like me, telling yourself that you “should” do something is a fast route to feeling nagged and put-upon – not the best frame of mind for feeling motivated! And when you fail to do something that you “should” do or “need” to do, you’ll feel bad about it.
And if your colleagues have all embarked on a weight-loss plan, or if your mum is evangelising about her new diet – don’t feel that you should diet too. If you’re encouraged and motivated by someone else’s success, that’s great – but there’s no need to feel obliged to emulate them unless you want to.
If this sounds like you…
Change those “shoulds” and “needs” and “musts”. Don’t tell yourself “I should lose weight”, say “I will lose weight” or – even better – “I want to lose weight”.
(And don’t use “need” frivolously. Insisting that you “need” a bar of chocolate isn’t going to do you any favors in the long run…)
I’d rather not end this article on a negative note, so I’ll point you back towards last week’s post on motivations that will help you to diet successfully and, just as importantly, happily!
Written by Ali HaleRelated posts:
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