Five “Do”s and “Don’t”s to Help a Friend Who’s Dieting

Perhaps you’re a seasoned and successful dieter … or even someone who hasn’t ever needed to diet. Even if you’re not currently on a diet yourself, the chances are, you know someone who’s is: here in the UK, 37% of women claim to be on a diet “most of the time”.

If you have a friend, relative or colleague who’s dieting, how can you help them?

(Psst – if you are dieting yourself, how about emailing this article to your friends and family? You might start getting the support that you need…)

1. Do Encourage Your Friend

Firstly, be encouraging! Losing weight can feel like a long and lonely journey – and if your friend has been on a number of diets before, she may doubt her ability to really lose the weight this time.

People respond to different sorts of encouragement, and you don’t necessarily need to be gushing and over-enthusiastic if that’s not your style. Some dieters even find that a bit of competition helps them along…

2. Don’t Say “You Don’t Need to Lose Weight”

As a former dieter myself, I know how frustrating it is when well-meaning friends and family say “Oh, you don’t need to lose weight”.

If a friend confides that he’s dieting, don’t tell him he “doesn’t need to lose weight”. Some people are dieting simply to shed a few pounds or to be healthier – also, it’s possible to be overweight without looking excessively large.

(If you have a thin friend who talks constantly about dieting, though, it’s possible they could be anorexic or have another eating disorder. When you genuinely feel that someone is already thin, it’s fine to say so. Just don’t say “you’re thin enough” because you’re trying to be kind to someone who’s overweight!)

3. Do Ask What You Can Do to Help

Most of us struggle to ask for help, even when we need it. When a friend goes on a diet, ask her how you can help. You might find that she asks for things you’d never have thought of. It could be something very simple; perhaps she finds it really hard to stick to her diet when you eat chocolate in front of her, for example.

If your friend seems reluctant to ask for anything that would help, you could offer to go to an exercise class with her. Many of us find it quite daunting to set foot in an unfamiliar environment like a gym without a friend there for moral support!

4. Don’t Criticise or Nag

You might be a successful dieter yourself, or you might have lots of views on how a person “should” diet. Don’t impose these on your friend. If you see him eating a slice of chocolate cake, don’t say “You’re not allowed that, you’re dieting.”

Everyone diets differently, and it’s generally a good idea not to ban foods or label foods as “bad” – simply to eat them occasionally and in moderation. Criticising someone’s food choices is rude and often unhelpful and counter-productive.

If a friend asks you to keep him accountable, rather than saying “You shouldn’t have chips”, say something like “Are you sure you want chips?” or “Do you want to check the calories before you eat that?” Avoid words like should, shouldn’t and must.

5. Do Offer Personal Tips and Stories

Finally, if you’ve been on a diet or successfully changed your own eating habits, you might want to share some of your own tips and the advice that you’ve learnt. Don’t turn this into a lecture or your life-story – just select some of the things that really worked for you.

Perhaps you found a great way to stay focused (such as keeping a food diary), or maybe you have a wonderful recipe for low-fat muffins: don’t be afraid to share this with your friend! Just don’t be hurt if she chooses not to follow your tip.

If a friend is discouraged by the long haul ahead, you might want to share your own dieting story, perhaps talking about the times you failed before eventually succeeding.

Have you got a friend who’s on a diet? How are you helping him or her? Do you think you might be inadvertently hindering?

Written by Ali Hale

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1. What Does Dieting Success Mean to You?
2. Effortless Dieting: Six Tips To Make Your Diet Easy
3. Can Alli Be Your Friend?